You’re Stuck and You Can’t Get Unstuck: The #1 Thing You Must Do to Get Out of Stuckville
Something in you has been percolating for a while, but you don’t know exactly what it is.
On paper your life looks great. But it doesn’t always feel great on the inside. You lay awake at night thinking “if I could just [fill in the blank], then I’d be happy.”
Whether it’s leaning into your massive leadership potential, admitting you don’t like your work, managing your self-doubt/anxiety, improving your relationships, amplifying your strengths, or going after your dreams, something just feels “off.” You secretly suspect you were made for better.
You know you can’t go on like this this forever, but you stay stuck because you feel overwhelmed and unsure how to get unstuck. And maybe you’re too busy being busy to even deal.
#1 Fix to Changing Your Life:
Yup, that’s it. Make the decision that you’re going to get to the bottom of whatever’s getting in the way of you living your best life.
And I don’t mean a flimsy “well, maybe-sorta-one-day-ish” kind of decision.
I’m talking about a firm line in the sand. A marriage level commitment. Marry yourself to doing whatever it takes to get a bolder, happier, more fulfilling and productive life, even if you have zero clue how to do that.
You can wish for things to change as much as you want, but until you DECIDE to change, you’ll stay in Stuckville.
What happens next is like #1-a…
Next: Do Something to Cement Your Decision
Here’s what i mean:
8 years into practicing law, my general work/life malaise ran deep. I didn’t know why. By all objective measurements I was “thriving,” but I felt bored to tears, unfulfilled, and stressed beyond belief (fun combo, right?). I was afraid if I got off the hamster wheel for long enough to hear my own thoughts, everything would fall apart. Then I got pregnant with my second child. And I knew that things would only get worse – busier, with more obligations.
So I decided to change my life.
I had no idea how to do it. I doubted whether it was actually possible for me. And I was overwhelmed by how much more “work” I’d need to add to my plate to get there. But I knew there had to be more to life than how I was experiencing it.
I was lost without a map about what came next.
As an attorney, I live in my head. It’s where I go to solve problems. But this problem wasn’t going to get solved with logic. I needed to get away. I needed time and quiet to tune into my intuition.
So I signed up for a 3-day yoga retreat in the mountains of North Georgia. Upon arrival I was irritated to learn that the retreat was more spiritual awakening than yoga (the universe sometimes delivers exactly what we need). Those three days ignited a fire in me for deeper change. When I got back, I said to myself “well that was great, now what?” So I hired a coach. And that changed my life forever.
Three years later, I feel more alive, I have a career I love, and I’m living my life with purpose and on my own terms.
Don’t get me wrong. A LOT of messy and beautiful things happened in between then and now (I’ll save that for another post). But I can easily look back and say that my DECISION to change my life was the very first step to changing EVERYTHING.
So my big decision was cemented with a 3-day trip away from the usual noise to focus on myself. Yours might be affirmed by buying a journal, writing your commitment down, saying it out loud to someone else (or to yourself in the mirror), taking a day off of work to “think,” partnering with a coach, etc.
Better Is In You…Now Go Get it
If you have a stirring sense that there’s something better in you, you’re right!
And here’s the key: you don’t have to know what to do about it to DECIDE to do something about it.
The rest is figureoutable one baby step at a time.
Consider this a seed planted and then ask yourself how long you’re willing to wait…
Because life’s too short to be anything but the boldest, truest version of yourself!
P.S. I help high-achieving professionals live and lead bigger. If you know something bigger is in you, you’re ready for change and you like the idea of having a thought partner support you through the process, let’s talk!
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin
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